25 things about YOU

This is really mean, but don't judge me yet because you'll be laughing in about 3 min. For whatever reason, there has been a craze of posting "25 things about yourself." Now, I personally refuse to do it because I have a blog of 110 things you never cared to know about me in the first place; 25 more things would truly be overkill. Some of my close friends have written these, and they are pleasant to read, but for the most part, I haven't found out anything new.

Now I come to the part where I seem like a total creep, but again, check your judgements because I think you're going to like this. While my friends' 25 lists have been all good and nice, what I have REALLY enjoyed are reading the lists of people I barely know but happen to be facebook friends with. For the most part, these were loose acquaintances in high school. My friend Dan sent me a New York Times op. ed. about the 25 list craze, and in this piece the author included the best ones he had read.

This got me thinking. Some of these lists I was reading were pure comedic gold. So, I spent the last 20 minutes sifting through these, and I present to you a compilation of the best of the best. They are completely untouched; pristine in their gibberish and grammatical errors (Note: none of these come from my close friends aka the only people who read this. I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings, so don't get apprehensive-none of these are yours)

2. I really don't try and be a bitch. I'm just extremely honest, and sometimes that's misconstrued.
3. i smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, similar to your 90 year old grandmother.
3. I am OBSESSED with Britney Spears- so much so that I should probably see a shrink about it.
3. My favorite TV show ever is KYLE XY. I own all the seasons on Dvd, and have seen almost every single episode several times. I kind of obsessed. I consider it the best tv show ever created. I almost cried when I found out it is set to be cancelled after the cliffhanger third season finale on March 16. SAVE THE TUB ( www.savekylexy.com )
4. i blame all my piercings, tattoos, and my jet black hair on finally being free from 13 years of strict catholic school.
4. I own approximately 75 pairs of shoes.
7. I make up a million different terms and words all the time. like "what the mof." and "what's good" I love hearing people say my phrases that i made up.
9. I really really really think lamb is delicious... even if they're fluffy and adorable. Maybe even BECAUSE they're fluffy and adorable - I tend to have predatory instincts regarding tasty looking creatures that are smaller than me.
9. I did have two other parakeets, but they both died in strange ways, Pete flew away when my dad changed the cage outside to help me, and Kyle (named after my favorite tv show of course) died in his food bowl. :(
10. I bit a boy on the arm until he bled in Pre-K.
10. sculpting my facial hair is a hobby of mine
13) I believe in a Great Something, and Something wants people to chill out and love each other.
13. I usually don't have a problem with people unless they bother me or are just plain out haters... i hate HATERZ
15. When I was 5-6 years old, I shoved a peanut in each nostril so far up my nose that I had to get them surgically removed.
16. People call me superficial, I just have really high goals.
17) REMOVED--ask me about it, though, and I'll send it to you directly.
18. I am addicted to tanning (even though I don't get tan, but at least I try) and bleaching (both my teeth and hair)- it relieves my stress!
21. I've never understood why some men think being called "pretty" is an insult... what do you want, "manly mcbeefsteakman?" Some guys just aren't Chuck Norris, but that doesn't mean they aren't attractive. Idiots. Take the compliment. I don't give them to many people.
21. When I see a four digit number, I think of ways to put mathematical symbols in between and around them to make the total equal zero. I don't do it on purpose, it just kind of happens.
23. I believe in ghosts, and love, and fate, and espically karma and cosmic forces.. all that good shit.. yet I can't hold on to the idea of god. As far as I'm concerned I am god.
24. I watch Sex and the City and Real Housewives of Orange County to motivate me, as bad as that sounds.
25. Between June 2007 and the present, I’ve learned to love myself like never before and it is the Sweetest. Thing. Ever.