Because It's All Downhill from Here: 9 min

9 min until I have to leave for class.

I have had two different topics swirling through my brain today. I was trying to think of how to connect them in a blog post, but I have come up with no connection and I am in a rush now to present both. Instead, I will jumble them into a completely incoherent post.

8 min.

When my cousin Ryan turned 10, my cousin Eric, who was 12, wrote in his birthday card: "It's all downhill from here."

During high school orientation, Mr. Doran told a parable. The long story short: There was an oak tree and a reed. A hurricane hit. Although the oak tree prided itself on being strong, the hurricane took it down with its forceful winds. The reed, on the other hand, was strong but willing to move with the wind and it survived the hurricane. I was utterly horrified. I was unaware that this was my first exposure to four more years of parable telling, in which oak trees and reeds would engage in dialogues and other seemingly inanimate objects would die in freak accidents thus to prove to dumb high school students even dumber points.

5 min.

When Eric graduated high school, my brother David wrote in his graduation card: "It's all downhill from here."

Senior year, Fr. Albert told the story of the frog and the pot of water. If you try to place a frog into a pot of boiling water, it jumps out. If you place a frog in cool water and boil it slowly, it boils to death. Moral: Don't become complacent. Ultimate effect: four years later and I was still horrified by Kellenberg's lesson teaching methods.

3 min.

When I graduated eighth grade, my brother Michael wrote in my graduation card: "Wow, you shocked us all and graduated!"

I sit here with a birthday card for my nephew. He will turn 3 next week. I considered writing "It's all downhill from here." I think I'll wait another year.

Done with 2 min to spare.