I recently tried to detox my liver with vegetable juice. I read about the merits of vegetable juice in one of my mom's magazines, and hell, if you present to me anything as a "good idea," I'll try it.
If you know me, then you could have predicted that this plan failed with the crack of the seal on my first bottle of V8. I previously warned you against clove cigarettes because they are bad for you; I now present to you a more real and stern warning: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO VOMIT IN PUBLIC, DON'T DRINK V8. I'm not talking about the fruity ones, I'm talking about the straight up tomato-onion-celery-bile mix packaged as "original."
Figure 1: Just say "NO!"
The vegetable juice idea made me realize that if I really wanted to "detox" my liver, it would make more sense to stop drinking. And if I wanted to really be a healthy lady:
-I should never smoke anything ever again (I'm working on that one; I really don't want a fatty heart like in the commercial. I almost never smoke, anyways. Nevertheless, I won't completely swear it off until I have tried Al Capones...)
-I should actually excerise more than twice a month
-I should stop eating thai food that is made in a basement next to a dry cleaners. (And I should stop convincing my friends to join me)
-I should stop standing in front of the microwave to see if I can tell the exact moment when the food looks like its getting hot
I should stop doing those things, but I probably won't. I'm getting Nud Pob tomorrow night!
P.S. Spell check is broken right now; this is the best I could do on my own.
P.S.S. I enabled comments from all users, so you don't need a blog to comment (sorry about that Kelly, I have no idea how I disabled that option previously)
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