The last time I offered you a pearl of wisdom, I advised you to put a pair of underwear over your wet hair.
This time, I offer you dating advice. My roommate has an internship, and she helped to create a "date planner" (http://datenight.springpadit.com/). She asked me if I would make a post about dating, and I agreed. Why not, right? I love giving advice, even when nobody wants it.
So lets see. Dating...dating...I haven't been on a date in about two months, but I'm pretty sure that things haven't changed that much since December 2008.
Err....don't put out until the third date.
After some consideration, I realized that this probably is not enough to get my blog into the date planner.
About 5 minutes has gone by and I am coming up blank.
Okay. This is from a very recent experience--
Guys and girls, do not text somebody you have just started to date at an odd hour. Think to yourself: "Would it be okay to call somebody at this hour?" If the answer is no, then a text isn't okay, either. I recently got a text at 7AM from a guy, and although the text said nothing significant, getting a message that early threw me for a loop. So, if you want to make contact late at night with a new guy or girl, wait until the morning. And once the morning comes, wait until early afternoon.
EDIT: Upon further consideration, my roommate said that this is not exactly what they are looking for in said "date planner." She said it's more along the lines of how to have a good date, what not to do on a date, etc.
SO! From the vault of experience, flat-chested ladies, I offer you this true gem:
Padded bras may make your sweaters fit nicer, but if there is any chance that your new guy is coming back with you to your room, just wear a normal bra. Otherwise, he is going to get a handful of Wonderbra and nothing else. That confused look on his face sure does ruin the moment!
That's all I've got. To the couples out there: I hope you have a Happy Valentine's Day! And to the single people like myself: I hope you don't have too bad of a hangover on Sunday!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Lent dilemma
Ash Wednesday is two weeks from this Wednesday, marking 40 days until Easter. For those 40 days, Catholics are supposed abstain from something they love or perform some sort of service they wouldn't normally.
Every year since I can remember, I've just given up soda and called it a day. I plan on doing that again this year, but I also want to give up something that would really be a sacrifice for me. Giving up soda is more or less a health thing that I should abstain from anyways...so I've narrowed it down to two contenders for what else I plan on giving up:
Chocolate or booze.
I love both so very much. While I ingest alcohol significantly less frequently than chocolate, I think I enjoy alcohol a little bit more (eek).
Chocolate: includes putting cocoa in my coffee, dessert in the dining hall, cookies at work
Alcohol: Arty and Edyna's birthday, spring break (St. Patrick's day would be an exception...I don't have that much self control)
I need input on this one.
Every year since I can remember, I've just given up soda and called it a day. I plan on doing that again this year, but I also want to give up something that would really be a sacrifice for me. Giving up soda is more or less a health thing that I should abstain from anyways...so I've narrowed it down to two contenders for what else I plan on giving up:
Chocolate or booze.
I love both so very much. While I ingest alcohol significantly less frequently than chocolate, I think I enjoy alcohol a little bit more (eek).
Chocolate: includes putting cocoa in my coffee, dessert in the dining hall, cookies at work
Alcohol: Arty and Edyna's birthday, spring break (St. Patrick's day would be an exception...I don't have that much self control)
I need input on this one.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
611 good-byes
I had 611 songs on my computer through Ruckus. These songs were both free and perfectly legal.
Sounds too good to be true?
Yup. Because it was too good to be true. Last night I faced the shock a "final notice" from Ruckus. The service had been turned off. I don't know if BU just stopped paying or if the entire company went under, but whatever the reason, I just lost 611 songs. I do not know if this makes it better or worse, but I didn't lose the songs in one go. Instead, they will fade slowly over the next few weeks until nothing is left.
I realize that Mac users never had this privilege to begin with, and are probably laughing at their fellow PC users-- "Ha. Ha. See, now you can't have it either!"
First off, as Damien Rice sang in one of his sad little Irish songs, "you feel it when they take it away." And second, it's always mean to take pleasure in other people's discomfort (i.e. don't laugh because you're entire hard drive will probably crash as a result.)
So, I'll work to gain back my music in the most legal, but cheap, way possible. In the mean time, goodbye Tupac. Goodbye City High, The Fugees, Timbaland, R.Kelly, Jay-Z, Nelly, Coolio. Goodbye Dvorak, Yo Yo Ma, Duke Ellington, Vince Guraldi. Goodbye Elliot Smith, Citizen Cope, Muse, REM, David Gray and your earlier albums, Wilco and Dispatch. Goodbye all the other garbage I just had because it was free. And goodbye, dear U2. We will meet again.
Sounds too good to be true?
Yup. Because it was too good to be true. Last night I faced the shock a "final notice" from Ruckus. The service had been turned off. I don't know if BU just stopped paying or if the entire company went under, but whatever the reason, I just lost 611 songs. I do not know if this makes it better or worse, but I didn't lose the songs in one go. Instead, they will fade slowly over the next few weeks until nothing is left.
I realize that Mac users never had this privilege to begin with, and are probably laughing at their fellow PC users-- "Ha. Ha. See, now you can't have it either!"
First off, as Damien Rice sang in one of his sad little Irish songs, "you feel it when they take it away." And second, it's always mean to take pleasure in other people's discomfort (i.e. don't laugh because you're entire hard drive will probably crash as a result.)
So, I'll work to gain back my music in the most legal, but cheap, way possible. In the mean time, goodbye Tupac. Goodbye City High, The Fugees, Timbaland, R.Kelly, Jay-Z, Nelly, Coolio. Goodbye Dvorak, Yo Yo Ma, Duke Ellington, Vince Guraldi. Goodbye Elliot Smith, Citizen Cope, Muse, REM, David Gray and your earlier albums, Wilco and Dispatch. Goodbye all the other garbage I just had because it was free. And goodbye, dear U2. We will meet again.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Because It's All Downhill from Here: 9 min
9 min until I have to leave for class.
I have had two different topics swirling through my brain today. I was trying to think of how to connect them in a blog post, but I have come up with no connection and I am in a rush now to present both. Instead, I will jumble them into a completely incoherent post.
8 min.
When my cousin Ryan turned 10, my cousin Eric, who was 12, wrote in his birthday card: "It's all downhill from here."
During high school orientation, Mr. Doran told a parable. The long story short: There was an oak tree and a reed. A hurricane hit. Although the oak tree prided itself on being strong, the hurricane took it down with its forceful winds. The reed, on the other hand, was strong but willing to move with the wind and it survived the hurricane. I was utterly horrified. I was unaware that this was my first exposure to four more years of parable telling, in which oak trees and reeds would engage in dialogues and other seemingly inanimate objects would die in freak accidents thus to prove to dumb high school students even dumber points.
5 min.
When Eric graduated high school, my brother David wrote in his graduation card: "It's all downhill from here."
Senior year, Fr. Albert told the story of the frog and the pot of water. If you try to place a frog into a pot of boiling water, it jumps out. If you place a frog in cool water and boil it slowly, it boils to death. Moral: Don't become complacent. Ultimate effect: four years later and I was still horrified by Kellenberg's lesson teaching methods.
3 min.
When I graduated eighth grade, my brother Michael wrote in my graduation card: "Wow, you shocked us all and graduated!"
I sit here with a birthday card for my nephew. He will turn 3 next week. I considered writing "It's all downhill from here." I think I'll wait another year.
Done with 2 min to spare.
I have had two different topics swirling through my brain today. I was trying to think of how to connect them in a blog post, but I have come up with no connection and I am in a rush now to present both. Instead, I will jumble them into a completely incoherent post.
8 min.
When my cousin Ryan turned 10, my cousin Eric, who was 12, wrote in his birthday card: "It's all downhill from here."
During high school orientation, Mr. Doran told a parable. The long story short: There was an oak tree and a reed. A hurricane hit. Although the oak tree prided itself on being strong, the hurricane took it down with its forceful winds. The reed, on the other hand, was strong but willing to move with the wind and it survived the hurricane. I was utterly horrified. I was unaware that this was my first exposure to four more years of parable telling, in which oak trees and reeds would engage in dialogues and other seemingly inanimate objects would die in freak accidents thus to prove to dumb high school students even dumber points.
5 min.
When Eric graduated high school, my brother David wrote in his graduation card: "It's all downhill from here."
Senior year, Fr. Albert told the story of the frog and the pot of water. If you try to place a frog into a pot of boiling water, it jumps out. If you place a frog in cool water and boil it slowly, it boils to death. Moral: Don't become complacent. Ultimate effect: four years later and I was still horrified by Kellenberg's lesson teaching methods.
3 min.
When I graduated eighth grade, my brother Michael wrote in my graduation card: "Wow, you shocked us all and graduated!"
I sit here with a birthday card for my nephew. He will turn 3 next week. I considered writing "It's all downhill from here." I think I'll wait another year.
Done with 2 min to spare.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Done Deal
I have written previously about the songs I associate with different times of my life. Ignition with 8th grade, the whole X&Y album with sophomore year of HS, etc.
Well, last night I heard a certain song that I realize I already tie with first semester of Sophomore year of college.
the winner is:
Lil' Wayne, Mrs. Officer.
Thanks, Catie. Thanks.
Well, last night I heard a certain song that I realize I already tie with first semester of Sophomore year of college.
the winner is:
Lil' Wayne, Mrs. Officer.
Thanks, Catie. Thanks.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Why don't you just drink poison?
As always, bonus points if you know where the title of my blog post comes from.
I recently tried to detox my liver with vegetable juice. I read about the merits of vegetable juice in one of my mom's magazines, and hell, if you present to me anything as a "good idea," I'll try it.
If you know me, then you could have predicted that this plan failed with the crack of the seal on my first bottle of V8. I previously warned you against clove cigarettes because they are bad for you; I now present to you a more real and stern warning: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO VOMIT IN PUBLIC, DON'T DRINK V8. I'm not talking about the fruity ones, I'm talking about the straight up tomato-onion-celery-bile mix packaged as "original."
I recently tried to detox my liver with vegetable juice. I read about the merits of vegetable juice in one of my mom's magazines, and hell, if you present to me anything as a "good idea," I'll try it.
If you know me, then you could have predicted that this plan failed with the crack of the seal on my first bottle of V8. I previously warned you against clove cigarettes because they are bad for you; I now present to you a more real and stern warning: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO VOMIT IN PUBLIC, DON'T DRINK V8. I'm not talking about the fruity ones, I'm talking about the straight up tomato-onion-celery-bile mix packaged as "original."
Figure 1: Just say "NO!"
The vegetable juice idea made me realize that if I really wanted to "detox" my liver, it would make more sense to stop drinking. And if I wanted to really be a healthy lady:
-I should never smoke anything ever again (I'm working on that one; I really don't want a fatty heart like in the commercial. I almost never smoke, anyways. Nevertheless, I won't completely swear it off until I have tried Al Capones...)
-I should actually excerise more than twice a month
-I should stop eating thai food that is made in a basement next to a dry cleaners. (And I should stop convincing my friends to join me)
-I should stop standing in front of the microwave to see if I can tell the exact moment when the food looks like its getting hot
I should stop doing those things, but I probably won't. I'm getting Nud Pob tomorrow night!
P.S. Spell check is broken right now; this is the best I could do on my own.
P.S.S. I enabled comments from all users, so you don't need a blog to comment (sorry about that Kelly, I have no idea how I disabled that option previously)
Sunday, February 1, 2009
This is why I don't generally give beauty advice...
...because this is the best I have to offer.
Yes, this piece of advice comes from the 1930s, and yes, you might be too embarrassed to actually do this, but damnit, it works.
Last night I had an awesome evening with Edyna and Lauren, eating Popeye's and smoking cloves. Despite all the fun, when I got back to my room, I smelled pretty nasty. I had a decision: shower at 1:30AM and sleep on a wet head, or go to bed and then wash my sheets the following morning.
I got out of the shower at 2, too exhausted to dry my hair. And then I remembered a certain piece of wisdom passed down from my grandmother to my mother to me!
So, you don't want to wake up with tangled hair and an ice cold pillow?
Brush out your hair, braid it, and pull a clean pair of underwear onto your head, tucking the braid in. You'll wake up with (almost) dry, untangled hair and a fairly dry pillow.
For real.
EDIT: A conversation with Catie just brought to my attention that I need to clarify this: by "smoking cloves" I do NOT mean smoking weed; cloves are an entirely legal type of cigarette. Though delicious, I don't recommend them, as they are entirely poisonous.
Yes, this piece of advice comes from the 1930s, and yes, you might be too embarrassed to actually do this, but damnit, it works.
Last night I had an awesome evening with Edyna and Lauren, eating Popeye's and smoking cloves. Despite all the fun, when I got back to my room, I smelled pretty nasty. I had a decision: shower at 1:30AM and sleep on a wet head, or go to bed and then wash my sheets the following morning.
I got out of the shower at 2, too exhausted to dry my hair. And then I remembered a certain piece of wisdom passed down from my grandmother to my mother to me!
So, you don't want to wake up with tangled hair and an ice cold pillow?
Brush out your hair, braid it, and pull a clean pair of underwear onto your head, tucking the braid in. You'll wake up with (almost) dry, untangled hair and a fairly dry pillow.
For real.
EDIT: A conversation with Catie just brought to my attention that I need to clarify this: by "smoking cloves" I do NOT mean smoking weed; cloves are an entirely legal type of cigarette. Though delicious, I don't recommend them, as they are entirely poisonous.
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