The Xtra classy life

I should be in class right now, but I got really sick this morning from a strawberry smoothie.

So, with that out of the way, a quick post before I get back to studying for a midterm.

This morning I checked my bank statement, which brought me to one of the single classiest moments of my entire life (no, your eyes are not deceving you. That is not $149.)

While this instance alone proves that I might just be one of the classiest people you know, I believe I reached the apex of my classiness two nights ago. I was settling in to eat my dinner and watch a little TV before studying. I reached into my fridge and realized that I still had a variety of bottle juices and sodas from the previous weekend. I grabbed a bottle of cranberry juice, only to find that it wasn't only cranberry juice. A cocktail might be nice on a weekend night, but not on a Tuesday.

Guess what?

This time next week, assuming that there aren't recounts and whatnot, we should have a new president!

(and hopefully America will prove to the rest of the world that it is finally getting its head out of its ass!)

Ralph Nader '08: We're fucked no matter who becomes president, so why not finally make this old bag happy?

Oy vey

I'm not down right now, nor am I out. Am I confused as hell? You bet your sweet ass.


I could write a post about it, but maybe we can talk it out in real life. What I want the most right now is the advisement of a psychic (a real one who can tell me that she already knows what decisions I will make and that those decisions will yield lots and lots of happiness.)


quick note: my roommate used the term "tool bag" in her post last night, which means that it is possible that I am starting to rub off on her. The title of my post is definitely an Alana phrase, but it aptly describes how I feel right now.

and another note: Kelly, I almost used the phrase "copious happiness" just to make you laugh

My Best Friend

Last night I was contemplating who is really my best friend these days. There were many contenders, but there was a clear winner in my mind. My best friend has been with me through thick and thin, for some of the best times of my life and some of the worst. I don't think my best friend has even once disappointed me, or made me feel bad about myself, or bad about anything, really.


Thank you, TV, for being the best friend a girl could ever have.

:)

Untitled (because my mom threw out the dictionary)

"I just tried to check the dictionary....but I threw it out."
"You threw out the dictionary?"
"Yes."
"Why would you do that?"
"I threw it out a couple of months ago. I don't know why."

My number 1 most overused phrase:

"I know this isn't funny, but it kind of is"

Cheap parents make for comedic situations

As I lay in my bed last night, a certain childhood memory popped into my head that nearly made me laugh out loud.

A little background: When I was 13, I told my mom that I was desperate to learn an instrument. She was pleased because no one else in my family ever learned, and she asked me why the sudden interest. I told her that I had always been interested, which prompted her to then ask why I quit piano after only two lessons when I was 8.

Which brings me to the memory that still makes me laugh every time it comes up:

When I was 8, my mom decided it was time for me to learn piano. She priced lessons and found that they were too expensive. Instead of waiting and saving up some money for legit lessons, my mom asked around and found out that a woman named Pia was teaching lessons out of her living room. My mother gladly dropped me off for my first lesson. I was petrified of dogs until I was about 12, so it was traumatic for me that Pia's two large dogs (which she refused to put into another room) barked whenever somebody touched the piano. She also tutored math simultaneously for a group of boys that sat next to the piano. Anddd to top it off, she was a chain smoker.

All I remember telling my mother after the first lesson was that I would never go back because Pia's cigarette smoke kept going into my ear.


This was actually a post I was going to make a few days ago, but I feel that it is fitting with this story:
Sometimes I want to make lots of money when I grow up so I can provide not only the basics for my children, but also the luxuries. At the same time, though, when you grow up in a family that uses a broken hand-me-down TV (that always makes the program look like it is taking place at night) or a car with the fender falling off from a car accident ten years prior, I feel that you grow up with more perspective and a much, much better sense of humor about life.


So that was a long ass post. But I am kind of laughing even now as I think of Pia.

Oh, and now it is in writing. It is my goal to play piano at least once for my friends before the year is over.

Crayons and alka seltzer

I had a really pensive post in mind, but instead I thought I would share with you something much funnier. Many of my 10 readers knew me when I was a kid, but to the rest of you, this may come as a shock. I was a weird kid. I know, I know, hard to believe, but true (typing with sarcasm is really hard, but that is definitely sarcastic). Every year I would ask for really odd gifts for my birthday. I present to you a comprehensive list:


Age 8-13: Alka seltzer
Age 8-13: 96 box of crayons
ca. Age 8: a wand with a star on top
Age 9: A barometer (mom said no to that one)
Age 9: box of magnets (mom did buy me that, though)
Age 12: A rhyming dictionary
ca. Age 11: coasters with penguins on them
Age 19: Uno
Ages 8-17: Various genesis CDs (or, in the Early days, cassettes)

It's crunchy!

I'm eating a lollipop right now that happens to resemble a certain male body part (COCK).


I tried to be subtle.

As it turns out, its filled with rice crispies! I had a really gross pun here, but just removed it. Instead, I will just say--this treat is quite delicious.

On to other news-- I had quite the revelation this morning. When thinking about future professions, I decided to tally my skills:

-Vacuuming
-Making beds
-Laundry
-Fixing things
-Cleaning bathrooms


...and then I stopped, because it was then that I realized that the profession in which I would probably do the best would be maid service.

(not that there is anything wrong with that)

"Food and dick"

My prediction was right! It was a fantastic weekend indeed. Here are a couple of pictures:

I just finished cleaning/washing the bedding now. Actually, there is a little more to be done. But it was totally worth it. It's weekends like this that remind how awesome my friends really are :)

I can feel it...

It is going to be a glorious weekend. It has already gotten off to a great start!

AND I VOTED!

In a Nutshell

I've been semi-forced into doing a great deal of thinking lately about what I really want from my life. This prompted me to describe my academic experience thus far, but I decided instead to draw a picture of it. I put arrows in, so hopefully it makes some sense. (if you click it, it gets larger)

Beautiful!

Today a man thanked me at Subway for "making him such a beautiful sandwich." And he meant it, too! It really made my night--and has inspired me to start giving random complements to strangers.

Good morning! It's Tuesday--Monday?

I just received the game Taradiddle for my birthday from Kelly.

I can't express how much I enjoy turning children's games into drinking games.

I made a list of things that make me happy last week, which brings me to the list of things that make me happy, yet guilty at the same time.

Magic baked goods
Cheap Vodka
Boxed Wine (really just on principle)
When other people make jokes about a particular race/religion (it could be mine, it could be someone else's...just the faux pa of it makes it too much for me to handle)
Unnecessarily serious situations (court)
When somebody unexpected says something inappropriate
Laughing at church


There's more, but I think you get the gist of it.

"You were going to conquer the world. What happened?"



I really don't know.

Happiness is

So last night at dinner, my friends were discussing pessimism versus optimism. Some of my friends decided to switch places for a day. All and all it was a pretty enlightening discussion, albeit very funny. I believe it ended with Lauren getting smacked in the head with some guy's backpack.

I don't consider myself optimistic or pessimistic, but rather I'm just a happy person, or at least positive. I was down and out for a few days, but everything is fine now. That's not like me to get depressed. Feeling blue isn't going to cure any diseases, or bring about any positive changes.

Which brings me to this list I've been making in my head. We'll call it the happiness list (family and friends implied). Here goes:

Laughing till I cry
making other people laugh
good music
good vodka
playing piano until my fingers hurt
buying a sale item
stealing things from the dining hall
encouraging my friends to steal from the dining hall
getting a really good hug
riding my bike with Jess through Alley Pond Park
talking about TV with Kelly in a way that other people might find weird
realizing that Catie and I were thinking the exact same stupid thing
deep discussions at Nud Pob with Sarah
hearing about Kate's insane nights
Sinead's random texts
lunches with Bridget
riding in Dan's car and listening to his crazy music (although that has not happened in wayyy too long!)
these recent discussions between Sarah, Heather and myself that are oddly sober (err circus tent taxis?)
Playing video games in Lauren and Edyna's room
Whenever Arturo comes with us to dinner
Edyna's mixed drinks
Girls nights!
Watching TV in a group
Lost cookies
having a spell check come up with no errors


so there it is. I wasn't going to name anyone in particular, but then I realized, I had to. I am so lucky to have people in my life who make me happy every single day

Insert song lyric here

I'm listening to "I Want to Break Free" by Queen right now. And you know what, Queen? I do want to break free! I'm just not sure from what.

And earlier I was listening to CSNY's "Judy Blue Eyes." The past does remind us of what we are not now! So wise.

"I Want to Break Free" just ended and now Coldplay's "Crest of Waves" came on. They are right, too! Things could be worse.



I need a break.


EDIT: I seem to come across angry or bitter here...thing is, right now I'm a little of both. Sometimes life just gets you down, right?

I like this.

To my friends from the land down under..

By the land down under, I'm referring to the land under New York, which is New Jersey. According to this map from the Washington Post, the Democrats are losing their hold of the state.

Now, I'm not the most political person, and actually for those who are, I'm probably very frustrating to talk to. I'm that American teen who didn't vote in the primary because, well, I forgot. And even though I'm about as liberal as they come on most issues, there are a few issues (actually, its really only one) that I am pretty conservative on. I'm the last person who should talk politics.

Nevertheless, as hypocritical as it may seem, I'm asking my New Jersey people to make sure they vote. If that state is colored red on the map come election day, I will seriously cry. Plus, it would reaffirm the long held belief that New Jersey is good for nothing other than taking New York's trash.

I'm listening to opera right now; my roomate better not walk in.

Of course I love my roommate (hey Alana!) but right now it's just me, vanilla tea, and a bit of opera.

I may be a pop culture junkie who eats up bad TV shows and movies, and I may talk about how much I dislike anything remotely related to the Bronte sisters or Jane Austin, but I have my high culture moments, too (secretly...except that now it's on my blog)

So, on a completely different topic, my friends and I participated in Making Strides today. Nine years ago, we lost my grandma to breast cancer. My aunt and my mom laughed with me on the phone today...I told them how we left the walk midway through the walk to get IHOP and we all agreed that skipping out for pancakes is the exact type of thing my grandma would have loved. Every time I smell crab apples (like the tree in her backyard) or a sauce cooking in the kitchen, I think of her and how much I still miss her.

I do regret...

I do regret deleting a post that "I" made last night. I couldn't delete the picture in it using Sarah's crazy Mac, so in a rush I just got rid of the post....I tried to see if deleted posts were saved somewhere just now, and they aren't.

sadness.

To two of my lovers, Kate and Kelly--

I was just going through the files on my computer when I found one called "Wedding." I clicked it, only to find this picture:

I have no recollection of drawing this, but I'm pretty sure I know why I drew this (err a certain wedding we all want to get invited to next summer? You know the one I'm talking about...no names, though. I wouldn't want that person to ever google their own name only to have "My pet lizard, slappy" to pop up as a result). The date of creation was sometime last summer--presumably when I first got my laptop.

Well Kate and Kelly, I adore both of you, and yeah, this probably would happen if you went to that wedding.

Yesterday, Today

So the past couple of days have been a strange change of pace. I realized some things, found out about other things, and got some piece of mind about a few important things.

None of which I wish to discuss on a blog. Or, in person actually.

Which brings me to something I didn't realize I was going to talk about until 30 seconds ago when it randomly popped into my head. In junior year at Kellenberg, we read this book called "Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?" Basically, it sucked. Hard. In it, though, there was this section about "the games we play." One game in particular completely summed me up in a paragraph: The Willing and Wordy. People who play "The Willing and Wordy" game talk nonstop, but when you stop to actually think about what that person has said, it all amounts to nothing substantial. It's used as a defense to keep people from getting too close.

I have no unifying theme to my post. Here's a picture of something my mom sent me in a care package

(in case it's too hard to read, it says "wow! he already knows and he's so little")


and! I served on a jury today! hopefully in the future I will be smart enough to weasel my way out of it.