The quick update

I haven't updated because I have been caught up in the whirlwind of corporate life. Ninety hour work weeks, coke binges, and cheating on my wife with the secretary.

Or more like 32 hour work weeks, commuting to the beautiful town of Jericho, lunches at Whole Foods, and working in a rather unintentionally humorous office.

I am not going to bullshit to you and tell you that my life is fabulous-because it isn't-but I can also say that it isn't nearly the mess it had been the last few months. Things have been getting back to the status quo, and it's been really nice.

It's late and as a very important business woman, I'll recap some of the highlights of working very quickly.

-Today, I prepared receipts for one of the older employees' pending audit. She asked me whether I needed the receipts from September 2008 or 2009. I had to restrain myself from saying "2009! It's an audit from the futureeee." After she asked ten more times, though, I kindly let her know that September 2009 hasn't happened, so we don't have those receipts yet.

-After lunch, I went through the bills for the company credit cards to see if they matched the employees' receipts. Rental car, airfare, business lunch, airfare, airfare, 12 donuts. In the middle of all the travel expenses, somebody included a receipt for 12 donuts from Dunkin Donuts and wrote it off as breakfast. And it just kept going from there. An Edible Arrangement for "client discussion," $18 worth of potato chips for a "business meeting," a bill from Hank's Famous BBQ, an unexplained $41 spent at 7-11

-Last Sunday, the night before I returned to the office, I tried on a couple of outfits for work. As I stood there in my plain gray skirt and pink button down shirt, I actually started to laugh. My work clothes didn't include a visor. I didn't have to wear all black. No magnetic name tag. My outfit looked like I was about to run some sort of scam; it said, Trust me, I wear dorky glasses and a button down shirt.