So tomorrow I withdraw from BU. The last possible day is July 1st, so its now or never I suppose. I removed my last post because it was mopey, and that's just not how I roll.
I think this is it for the blog, though. I'm not sure if anybody has been reading it anymore, and to be honest, I haven't had the desire to write. A chapter of my life has ended, so I figure I can package this up with it. I had fun, and I hope you enjoyed it. Someday I'll read these posts like I occasionally read my high school xanga, and lament about how long I worked at Subway. If you take one thing from this blog, I hope it is that you should put underwear on your head at night.
Thanks guys!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Vindictive Food Shopping, Workin' at The Office, and Tryin to Get That Oprah
So I haven't been updating too much lately. While the obvious reason for my absence would be my mundane life, the truth is, I can't find the cord to put my pictures on the computer, and without pictures my blog is nothing. I have a YouTube video for you, though, hence the update.
Let's do this in list form, just like the good ol' days (of two months ago? those days weren't so good, actually...uhhh.)
-The other day my mother asked me to do the grocery shopping while she was at work. I happily obliged; as most of you know, I have an inexplicable affinity for grocery stores. As my mom handed me the two grocery lists (because she started one, forgot, started another, and put completely different things on each,) she remarked, "Remember, if a sign says 'Two for One' get two. Do whatever the signs say." I was shocked! Was she insinuating that I am not a good sale shopper?
Well, yeah, she was. I went to the grocery store and bought a couple of odds and ends...the usual microwave dinners we eat weren't on sale, so I bought different ones. I wanted fruit snacks, and they were on a great sale, so I bought three boxes. The whole grain bread I wanted wasn't on sale, but the whole wheat was, so I bought two loaves. As the checkout lady handed me the receipt, I looked proudly upon the $13.95 savings on the $66.00 bill.
As I unloaded the groceries from the trunk, though, I realized that I bought some weird shit. I had shopped vindictively, and now we have 30 baggies of Snoopy fruit snacks to prove it.
Scratch workin' at the office-- I'll update about that in another post.
And as promised (BLAST THIS LOUD!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbDEds3jxRw&feature=PlayList&p=EB9D5FB2EA082489&index=0
Let's do this in list form, just like the good ol' days (of two months ago? those days weren't so good, actually...uhhh.)
-The other day my mother asked me to do the grocery shopping while she was at work. I happily obliged; as most of you know, I have an inexplicable affinity for grocery stores. As my mom handed me the two grocery lists (because she started one, forgot, started another, and put completely different things on each,) she remarked, "Remember, if a sign says 'Two for One' get two. Do whatever the signs say." I was shocked! Was she insinuating that I am not a good sale shopper?
Well, yeah, she was. I went to the grocery store and bought a couple of odds and ends...the usual microwave dinners we eat weren't on sale, so I bought different ones. I wanted fruit snacks, and they were on a great sale, so I bought three boxes. The whole grain bread I wanted wasn't on sale, but the whole wheat was, so I bought two loaves. As the checkout lady handed me the receipt, I looked proudly upon the $13.95 savings on the $66.00 bill.
As I unloaded the groceries from the trunk, though, I realized that I bought some weird shit. I had shopped vindictively, and now we have 30 baggies of Snoopy fruit snacks to prove it.
Scratch workin' at the office-- I'll update about that in another post.
And as promised (BLAST THIS LOUD!):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbDEds3jxRw&feature=PlayList&p=EB9D5FB2EA082489&index=0
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
horndog.
Today I sat on the train and watched the raindrops hit the window.
The way the rain slid across the glass, the droplets looked like those pictures you'd see in textbooks of spermies.
Now, we are adults here, right? Considering I know all five of my readers, I'm pretty sure I can safely say we are all in the 18+ group. If not? Eh.
So now that we have that cleared up, I want to talk about lusting after strangers. As I sat on the train, watching the rain-sperm-drops glide across the window, I thought of all the times I fallen in love with people on mass transit, in waiting rooms, from across classrooms, in chemistry lab, at the library, at sporting events, etc. I am not going to ask if you all do the same, because I don't want to know if I am the only one who does this. I thought back to the first time I after lusted after a total stranger. I was 15 and on the N24 heading home from Kellenberg. For whatever reason, I was alone on the bus that day and didn't get my normal seat. As we hit the Mineola hub, a bunch of day laborers got on. I still remember so vividly the guy's face. He had to be anywhere from 25 to 30, and something about him looked quite Native American. I was in awe of him. To get biblical, I coveted him. Wanted him. Whatever you want to call it. My 15 year old self was confused. My current self has had about 932 experiences since then that were exactly like that.
Another notable time: coming home for winter break, freshman year. A man with dark skin, blond hair, and an Australian accent got on the Accela and sat directly across from me. I was enamored.
Unfortunately, his face has completely faded from my memory. I just remember his hair and guitar case.
Sigh. I do wonder when I will stop being a 14-year-old boy (albeit, a 14 year old boy who is attracted to boys.)
The way the rain slid across the glass, the droplets looked like those pictures you'd see in textbooks of spermies.
Now, we are adults here, right? Considering I know all five of my readers, I'm pretty sure I can safely say we are all in the 18+ group. If not? Eh.
So now that we have that cleared up, I want to talk about lusting after strangers. As I sat on the train, watching the rain-sperm-drops glide across the window, I thought of all the times I fallen in love with people on mass transit, in waiting rooms, from across classrooms, in chemistry lab, at the library, at sporting events, etc. I am not going to ask if you all do the same, because I don't want to know if I am the only one who does this. I thought back to the first time I after lusted after a total stranger. I was 15 and on the N24 heading home from Kellenberg. For whatever reason, I was alone on the bus that day and didn't get my normal seat. As we hit the Mineola hub, a bunch of day laborers got on. I still remember so vividly the guy's face. He had to be anywhere from 25 to 30, and something about him looked quite Native American. I was in awe of him. To get biblical, I coveted him. Wanted him. Whatever you want to call it. My 15 year old self was confused. My current self has had about 932 experiences since then that were exactly like that.
Another notable time: coming home for winter break, freshman year. A man with dark skin, blond hair, and an Australian accent got on the Accela and sat directly across from me. I was enamored.
Unfortunately, his face has completely faded from my memory. I just remember his hair and guitar case.
Sigh. I do wonder when I will stop being a 14-year-old boy (albeit, a 14 year old boy who is attracted to boys.)
Monday, June 8, 2009
The quick update
I haven't updated because I have been caught up in the whirlwind of corporate life. Ninety hour work weeks, coke binges, and cheating on my wife with the secretary.
Or more like 32 hour work weeks, commuting to the beautiful town of Jericho, lunches at Whole Foods, and working in a rather unintentionally humorous office.
I am not going to bullshit to you and tell you that my life is fabulous-because it isn't-but I can also say that it isn't nearly the mess it had been the last few months. Things have been getting back to the status quo, and it's been really nice.
It's late and as a very important business woman, I'll recap some of the highlights of working very quickly.
-Today, I prepared receipts for one of the older employees' pending audit. She asked me whether I needed the receipts from September 2008 or 2009. I had to restrain myself from saying "2009! It's an audit from the futureeee." After she asked ten more times, though, I kindly let her know that September 2009 hasn't happened, so we don't have those receipts yet.
-After lunch, I went through the bills for the company credit cards to see if they matched the employees' receipts. Rental car, airfare, business lunch, airfare, airfare, 12 donuts. In the middle of all the travel expenses, somebody included a receipt for 12 donuts from Dunkin Donuts and wrote it off as breakfast. And it just kept going from there. An Edible Arrangement for "client discussion," $18 worth of potato chips for a "business meeting," a bill from Hank's Famous BBQ, an unexplained $41 spent at 7-11
-Last Sunday, the night before I returned to the office, I tried on a couple of outfits for work. As I stood there in my plain gray skirt and pink button down shirt, I actually started to laugh. My work clothes didn't include a visor. I didn't have to wear all black. No magnetic name tag. My outfit looked like I was about to run some sort of scam; it said, Trust me, I wear dorky glasses and a button down shirt.
Or more like 32 hour work weeks, commuting to the beautiful town of Jericho, lunches at Whole Foods, and working in a rather unintentionally humorous office.
I am not going to bullshit to you and tell you that my life is fabulous-because it isn't-but I can also say that it isn't nearly the mess it had been the last few months. Things have been getting back to the status quo, and it's been really nice.
It's late and as a very important business woman, I'll recap some of the highlights of working very quickly.
-Today, I prepared receipts for one of the older employees' pending audit. She asked me whether I needed the receipts from September 2008 or 2009. I had to restrain myself from saying "2009! It's an audit from the futureeee." After she asked ten more times, though, I kindly let her know that September 2009 hasn't happened, so we don't have those receipts yet.
-After lunch, I went through the bills for the company credit cards to see if they matched the employees' receipts. Rental car, airfare, business lunch, airfare, airfare, 12 donuts. In the middle of all the travel expenses, somebody included a receipt for 12 donuts from Dunkin Donuts and wrote it off as breakfast. And it just kept going from there. An Edible Arrangement for "client discussion," $18 worth of potato chips for a "business meeting," a bill from Hank's Famous BBQ, an unexplained $41 spent at 7-11
-Last Sunday, the night before I returned to the office, I tried on a couple of outfits for work. As I stood there in my plain gray skirt and pink button down shirt, I actually started to laugh. My work clothes didn't include a visor. I didn't have to wear all black. No magnetic name tag. My outfit looked like I was about to run some sort of scam; it said, Trust me, I wear dorky glasses and a button down shirt.
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